Only A Memory Page 7

  I really don’t have time for distractions; it took me years to put my life back together. But my damn eyes aren’t cooperating with my brain. They keep running up and down her body, learning her curves and valleys. Everly notices me staring, our gazes lock, her eyes unblinking, her lips part. Ava suddenly collides with my body, pulling me out of my trance, making me clear my throat.

  “Why are you just standing here, Daddy?” She tilts her head, studying me.

  Not taking my eyes off of Everly, I respond, “Come on, time to go home. We need to get you toweled off and dressed.”

  “But I’m having so much fun.” She pulls a grumpy face.

  We run to the car, and I blast the heat to warm us up. Neither I, nor Everly speak a word the whole drive home, but Ava makes up for it by blabbering her mouth off, saving us from an awkward silence.

  T he day at the beach with Connor and Ava was perfect, I had a great time. Even the rainstorm brought its own kind of charm. I don’t remember the last time I’ve had so much fun. Connor with his tattoos and his dark, rocker charm is starting to grow on me. Men like him were never my type, and I never paid them any attention. Not until now. I always went for the solid, reliable, conventional guys who weren’t exactly exciting but offered stability and predictability. Amber always said they would bore me to death, but I found them reassuring and comfortable.

  On the outside, Connor gives the impression he’s indifferent, careless, like the man I met when I first arrived here. But once you get to know him you realize there’s a completely different person hiding behind the scruff, tattoos, and occasional scowls. He’s a big softie with a giant heart, and I love how openly he shows his love for his family. I miss this. I miss my family. His relationship with Dolores is genuine and caring, and when he started asking about my parents, I felt a sharp sting in my heart. I haven’t spoken with them in almost six years. That’s 72 months, 313 weeks, and 2191 days. Yes, I’m counting, sue me. I’d pushed them away, and, looking back now, I realize what a horrible mistake that was. I’m not angry with them, I probably never was. I was angry at myself, and I blamed them, mostly my Mom, because it was easier to blame others than to look at myself in the mirror and face the truth. Taking my phone from the nightstand, I go through my Contacts. For a moment my finger hovers over my Mom’s name on the display. Taking a deep breath, I press call. Right when I lose my nerve, she answers slightly out of breath.

  “Hello?” Her voice is the same as I remember. “Hello? Who’s there?” she repeats when I don’t say anything. “Hello?” I close my eyes, and just listen to her voice, pain ripping my chest apart.

  “Who’s calling?” Dad’s muted voice echoes in the background, forcing me to open my eyes. He sounds tired. “I don’t know, I don’t hear anything. It must be kids playing pranks or something.” And she hangs up. With a phone pressed tight to my chest, a tear escapes and runs down my face. I couldn’t find the strength to speak. What if they hate me? What if they’re angry with me? Do they miss me? I have so many questions, but I’m afraid of the answers.

  Taking a deep breath, I wipe my eyes and head downstairs to grab a glass of water. As I walk down the hallway, I hear Connor in Ava’s room. I know I shouldn’t eavesdrop, but I stop and listen anyway.

  “…and they lived happily ever after. The end.” Connor finishes the story and closes the book he was reading to Ava. “Good night, pumpkin.”

  “Daddy.” Her voice stops him. “Can we go to the beach and have a picnic again? I had so much fun.”

  “It was fun, wasn’t it? We’ll definitely go when I’m not working, okay?”

  “Can Evi join us? I like her cartoon stickers. Sadie said she wants them, too.” Sadie is her new friend from the beach.

  “You mean the bandaids?”

  “Yes.”

  I lean my shoulder against the hallway wall, smiling at her adorableness.

  “You really like Everly, huh?” Connor asks gently.

  “Yes, she’s nice. And she bakes me cookies. And her hair is pretty. I want to have hair like her, she looks like a princess.” That warms my heart.

  Connor chuckles. “Maybe when you grow up. Now you need to go to sleep.”

  “Okay. I love you, Daddy. Can you ask Evi to make me pancakes when I wake up?”

  “I’ll see what I can do. Good night, I love you.” When I hear Connor move I push myself off the wall and return to my room. I don’t want him to find me eavesdropping, I can go get water later.

  I spread a mat on my bedroom floor, determined to practice yoga. I lie down and do some warm up exercises, then begin the sun salutation. Right in the middle of Seated Forward Bend I hear a knock on my bedroom door. Connor’s head pokes into my room.

  “Sorry to interrupt.”

  “It’s okay, come in.” I straighten and get up. “What’s up?” His eyes travel down my sweaty body.

  The doorbell rings. “Oh, she’s here,” Connor murmurs to himself. “I’m sorry, Dana’s here. We’re going to dinner.” I notice he’s dressed in black slacks, a blazer and a button up shirt beneath it. He’s never looked more handsome. His hair is styled, and he shaved his stubble. Big change, it suits him well. I’ve gotten used to his casual look, ratty jeans and T-shirts, but I’ve come to realize his attractiveness has little to do with the way he dresses.

  “Okay, have fun,” I chirp, trying to sound cheerful even though I’m far from it.

  “Oh, I almost forgot. Ava asked if you could make her pancakes for breakfast since I’m not sure if I’ll be at home in the morning.”

  “Sure,” I nod, swallowing hard. “No problem.” The divine scent of his aftershave makes me dizzy.

  “Thanks.” His head disappears, and the door closes. I let out the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. What the hell is wrong with me? I shouldn’t be jealous. He’s grabbing dinner with his girlfriend, there’s nothing wrong with that.

  My room overlooks to the front yard, so I dare to step to the balcony doors. Pushing the curtain away just an inch, I peek through the side, making sure Connor and Dana can’t see me. Dana looks stunning in a little red dress that clings to her slim body. Connor is walking behind her, his hand on the small of her back as he leads her to his car. When she is seated, he walks around, tracing his fingers over the hood. Just before he opens the driver’s door, he surprises me by looking up. Shit. I fall back on my ass, hard, almost banging my head.

  “Evi,” a soft voice calls my name. I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or not.

  “F-Faith?” I stammer.

  “Evi.” A small hand pokes my arm. “Are you awake?” I flash my eyes open, and see Ava standing beside my bed, clutching her teddy bear to her chest. For a minute I thought it was … No, I shake my head, it couldn’t have been. A sting of sadness hits me, but I somehow push it away.

  Pushing myself onto my elbow, I force a smile even though my heart wants to cry. Not because she woke me, but because of the memories she triggered. “I am now. Is everything okay?” Cupping her chin, I gently brush a fingertip over her soft cheek.

  “Can I sleep with you? I had a bad dream.” Tears shimmer in her eyes.

  “Sure, sweetie.” Moving aside, I can feel her tremble as she climbs onto the bed and lies next to me. My hands wrap around her, making sure she feels safe. “Where’s your Daddy?” Judging from the darkness that covers to room, it must be early. One glance at the clock tells me it’s only a little past five.

  “I don’t know, he’s not in his room.”

  I nod to myself, biting the inside of my lip. When he said he won’t be home in the morning I assumed he meant he’d be working not spending the night at Dana’s. Which is stupid of me since they’re a couple. They love each other, so they should be together.

  “That’s okay, you’re safe with me. I’ll chase your nightmares away.” I wish I could do the same with mine. With a gentle brush of my fingers, I lull her back to sleep. Surprisingly, I fall asleep too, since it’s way past eight when I open my eyes again. Ava is s
leeping soundly next to me, her teddy bear in between us. The sight makes my heart beat with affection, joy, happiness, fear, and unease. This little girl, with a heart of gold, has managed to sneak up on me and steal my heart in such a short time.

  Since Ava asked for pancakes last night, I’m going to make that wish happen. I slide from the bed, careful not to wake her. After a quick visit to the bathroom, I check up on Carlos and head to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Dolores had to work today even though it’s Saturday. I playfully whistle to music as I pour batter into a pan. It looks like it’s going to be another beautiful day, as the sun is already peeking through windows and warming my skin.

  “Evi, can I play with it?” Ava’s voice startles me.

  “Hey, you.” I smile down at her. “When did you get here?” But my smile fades when I see what she’s holding. “Where did you find this?” My face draining of color.

  “It was in your room. Can I play with it?” She’s holding an old stuffed bear, patting its head as if to dust it off. Scrunching her nose in the process.

  “Sweetie”– I kneel down in front of her– “this is a very special teddy to me, you know, like your Charlie is special to you.”

  “Yes, I love Charlie.”

  “And I love this teddy bear.” I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words to describe what it means to me.

  Ava looks up at me, her eyes curious. “Does he sleep with you at night so you’re not afraid, like I sleep with Charlie?”

  “Something like that.” I nod. “And I would be really sad if something happened to it, do you understand?”

  She nods. “Why is it so dirty? You should give him a bath.”

  I take the teddy bear carefully from her hands, the old thing scruffy and damaged. There’s an empty gap where its right eye used to be, and both its ears are worn out, the once orange pants now tattered and torn.

  “It’s pretty old, so it’s worn out. It belonged to a very special girl.”

  “Am I special too?” She tilts her head, studying my face.

  “Yes, you are. But not only to me, to your father and your grandparents, too. Never forget that.” I brush her dark hair tumbling around her shoulders.

  “Okay.”

  While she eats her breakfast, I carry the old toy back to my room and place it on the bed. Pausing at the doorway, my eyes on the bear, I let myself drown in memories just for a moment. An emptiness swells inside of me, hurting me, tearing me apart. It’ll always be there, haunting me, no matter what. Everything could be different, if only … Squeezing my eyes shut, I force myself to lock them back in the dark corner of my mind. I have so many things to do, I can’t afford to wallow in sadness and remember things best left in the past.

  The rest of the day is gloriously uneventful. Ava and I take Carlos for a walk around the neighborhood, and while he rests, we play hopscotch in the driveway.

  “Hi there.” An unfamiliar voice calls from the street. Turning my head to the side, I see a friendly looking, average height man with brown hair smiling at us.

  “Um, hi.” Ava is busy picking up the little stone she threw in the middle of the square number four, so she didn’t notice we have company.

  “I see you’re having loads of fun.” He grins. A small boy is standing next to him, holding his hand. “I’m Gavin, and this is Drake, my son.” He points to the boy. “He and Ava attend the same preschool, and I’m buddies with Connor.” He scratches his chin, looking embarrassed. “I’m not some pervert, I promise.”

  I smile at his awkwardness. “I’m Everly, nice to meet you.” I walk over to shake his hand.

  “I haven’t seen you around before.”

  “I just moved here not long ago.”

  “Drake!” Ava runs to my side to greet her friend. They soon forget about us, blabbering about important kid stuff.

  “So you just moved here? Are you Ava’s nanny? I’m sorry if I’m being too nosy.” He scratches the back of his head.

  “It’s okay.” I wave my hand dismissively with a smile. “I’m not a babysitter, I’m Mr. Cruz’s caregiver. It just so happens I’m also hanging out with little Ava today.”

  “Oh, right. How is Carlos doing? I heard about his health problems.”

  “He has his good days and bad days, but he’s doing okay.”

  “Evi, can Drake play with me?” Ava tugs on my shirt, looking up at me with puppy eyes. I hate to tell her no but this isn’t my house, and I can’t just invite people over without discussing it with Dolores or Connor first. Luckily Gavin saves me from answering.

  “We just wanted to say hi, Ava,” he explains. “Well, Drake wanted to, isn’t that right, buddy?” he ruffles his beautiful boy’s hair. “But we’re in a hurry. I need to drop Drake off at his mother’s house. You’ll play some other day. Maybe we could meet at the park, how does that sound?”

  Ava’s shoulders drop, but still gives a small nod. Gavin’s gaze locks on mine again. “Drake’s mother and I are divorced, but we have joint custody. I’d love to spend more time with him, but it’s so hard when I have to drive him back to his Mom’s.” There’s sincerity in his voice, laced with sadness.

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” It must be hard for him not seeing his son every day. And I’m certain it’s not easy for Drake, either.

  “We make the best of our time together, right, kiddo?” He smiles down at his son lovingly. “I’ll see you around, Everly. Bye, Ava.” They disappear down the street, and Ava and I continue our game until the sun starts to set.

  M en’s night turned out to be a total success. The bar is packed full, and drinks are overflowing. All eyes are on seductively dressed go-go dancers in the middle of the dance floor. Our staff has their hands full with the drinks, and Phoenix and I ended up calling in four more bartenders to work so they could keep up with the orders. In our wildest dreams, we didn’t dare imagine our bar would be so popular. We’ve already hired two more bouncers, and I have a feeling we’re going to need more reinforcements in the near future. When word goes out about the theme nights and all the other events we have planned, I can only imagine how many new customers this will hopefully bring.

  I’m sitting at the bar people watching. They laugh, dance, and enjoy themselves while Phoenix talks with some couple at the end of the bar. The atmosphere is great, the dancers doing their jobs perfectly, but my mind keeps drifting to Everly. My brain keeps replaying the image of her on the beach when she danced in the rain, her skin glistening with droplets, and the way she licked the beads off her pink lips with her eyes closed, enjoying the moment. An innocent moment, but for me it was so sexy I barely managed to stop myself from covering the distance between us and licking those raindrops from her lips myself. And don’t get me started on her wet T-shirt … I clench the glass I’m holding, breathing heavily. Why is this happening to me? With so many beautiful women around me, she’s the one I can’t stop thinking about.

  “Boss, do you want another beer?”

  Why not Dana? She bluntly offers herself to me daily. She’s a beauty, I can’t say she’s not. I would just have to say yes, and she’d fall into my arms … and into my bed. But my dick doesn’t even twitch at the thought of her. To make things worse, Everly’s not even the type of woman I usually go for. She’s too reserved, gentle, sweet, nice. Just like Anabel was. I should stay far away from her before I do something I’m going to regret later.

  “Boss?”

  I raise my head at the voice. “Yeah?” I blink.

  “I asked if you want another beer.” Zoe stands in front of me, motioning her head to my glass.

  “Oh.” I look into the empty glass I’ve been nursing, sliding it over the bar to her. “No, thanks.”

  “Okay.” She nods, wiping her hands on a dishrag. “And just to let you know, that group of college kids over there,” she points her finger to my left, “is pretty wasted. When I brought them drinks, one of them asked me for a lap dance. When I refused, he grabbed my ass.”

  “I’
ll handle it. Thanks for letting me know. You okay?”

  She waves at me in dismissal. “Sure. I’m used to that kind of shit in this business.”

  I don’t like my staff being harassed, and they shouldn’t just “get used” to drunks and perverts copping a feel or making obscene propositions. I want them to feel safe here.

  Just as I’m about to get up to warn the bouncers about those boys, I hear something smash. Turning around, I see one of the bartenders, Tina, being held by one of those guys, glass shattered by her feet. She’s trying to wriggle out of his grip, but he’s strong, and she’s petite. Two bouncers are already moving in, but I beckon them to stand aside and let me handle the situation first. Maybe I can solve the situation without anyone being hurt and more damage being done. The same guy whispers something in her ear. Judging by the pained expression on her face, she’s going to have a lot of bruises when she gets free. Just the thought of her being hurt, makes my insides burn.

  “Tina, come here.” I speak loud enough for all those guys to hear me over the loud music. She tries move but the guy strengthens his grip on her.

  “Sorry, old man. Find some other chick, this one’s taken.” He snickers, flashing a cocky smile, making his friends to laugh out loud.

  With one quick glance to the bouncers, who are on standby if needed, I’m ready to take action. “I don’t think that’s your call, but the lady’s. I told you nicely to let her go.”

  “Mind your own business, grandpa.” Guys erupt in laughter, clinking their beers together.

  “That’s enough!” Grabbing Tina’s hand, she clutches it for comfort, I pull her to me. The guy is drunk, his reflexes pretty slow, so she manages to jerk herself away from his sweaty arms.

  “Hey!” he protests, standing up, swaying in the process.

  “Go.” I nod to Tina reassuringly.

  “Connor, watch out!” I see the bouncers run toward me just as a fist connects with my jaw and nose, an explosion of pain surging through me. My head slams back, and I stumble, but I manage to stay on my feet.