Only A Memory Page 20

  He swoops me in his arms again, kissing my breath away, turning my legs to jelly. “You’re not going to regret this tomorrow, right?” he asks.

  I shake my head. “I won’t.”

  “Good.” Connor kisses my forehead. “Come to the zoo with Ava and me tomorrow.”

  “Okay,” I agree. Dolores isn’t working this weekend so I have a lot of free time. A trip to the zoo with two of my favorite people sounds awesome.

  “Daddy, I’m thirsty,” Ava complains. In the past hour, we’ve walked around the whole zoo. Ava knows every path and every animal there is since she’s a regular guest here. Every time we came close to an animal she liked, she grabbed my hand and dragged me over to the fence as fast as her small feet could carry her. Connor only laughed, waiting behind us. He’d already been through this in the past every time they came to the zoo.

  “There’s a café a few steps further. Wanna grab a drink?” he asks me, attentive as always. “They have a children’s playground. We always play there, don’t we, sweetheart?”

  “Yes. Do you know there’s a huge trampoline?” Ava tells me, her brown eyes sparkling. “Can I jump, Daddy?”

  “Sure, if the trampoline isn’t crowded. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

  “It won’t be,” Ava declares confidently.

  Connor and I take a seat at a table right by the playground so we can keep an eye on Ava who’s already jumping happily on the trampoline, waving at us. The aesthetics of the café fits perfectly in the zoo, wild and tropical, as if we were in the middle of a jungle. When the waitress comes over to take our order, she keeps trying to engage Connor in conversation, drooling all over him, giggling, and whipping her hair over her shoulder as if I wasn’t even there. I can only roll my eyes.

  “This was fun,” I say with sarcasm when she finally leaves. “For a minute there I thought she’s gonna crawl into your lap.” Connor takes my hand and kisses the palm, a grin on his face.

  “I like you looking all jealous.”

  “I’m not jealous.” I’ll never admit that to him.

  “You’re jealous.” He kisses my lips this time.

  We don’t show much affection for each other in front of Ava, not yet. A casual touch of the hand here and there, a stolen kiss when she isn’t looking, but we’re not rushing anything. Ava isn’t used to women other than Dolores in her life, and after all, she’s always been the only girl in Connor’s life. Even though she knew about our date, and I know she loves me, the relationship between us is still very fresh. We don’t want to confuse her or get her hopes up in case things don’t work out between us.

  “Can’t wait to get some alone time with you later,” Connor murmurs into my hair.

  “Here you go,” the waitress literally squeezes between us, ruining our moment, taking her time placing our drinks on the table. She winks at Connor, swaying her hips as she walks away. I can’t help but to roll my eyes again.

  “Did you see that?” My mouth drops. “It bugs me when she flirts with you as if I’m not even here. This is so wrong!”

  “I don’t care what she does, I don’t even notice it. I only have eyes for you.” I start melting under his intense stare. “Come here.” He pats his thighs, indicating I sit in his lap.

  “We’re in a crowded cafe,” I point out the obvious. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “I don’t give a shit what other people think. Get your sexy ass over here.” He pulls me to him like I’m light as a feather, making me giggle.

  “You’re crazy!” I exclaim but Connor shuts me right up with a kiss. Which is perfectly fine with me. I could do this from dusk till dawn and all the times in between. He makes me forget about bad things.

  “You’re kissing.” When I hear Ava’s voice, I jump off Connor’s lap, almost falling to my ass, but Connor pulls me back on his knee.

  “I … We …” I frantically start searching for excuses.

  “Yes, we were kissing,” Connor tells her calmly. He lifts her onto his other knee, both of us looking up at him over our shoulder, Ava curious and me, scared. “Does it bother you if we kiss?” Ava shrugs as if she couldn’t care less, but she seems like she’s a little embarrassed, her cheeks rosy. “You know this doesn’t mean I love you any less, right? You’re the most important person in my life.”

  She nods solemnly. “I know, Daddy. I’m gonna kiss Drake like that when I’m older.”

  Connor almost chokes on saliva. “When you’re thirty, not before. And even then, you’ll have to ask for my permission.”

  “Thirty?” she scrunches her face. “But I’ll be old then!”

  “I’ll show you old, you little monkey.” He starts tickling her. Ava jumps off his thigh, giggling and trying to tickle him right back. Guests at the café watch us with affection.

  “You are funny, Daddy. You’re just kidding, I know.” She laughs, takes a sip of her juice and wipes her mouth with her hand. “Can I play some more?”

  Connor nods and she runs back to the trampoline. “Did she really think I was joking? I was never more serious in my life. No kissing until she’s thirty. I think my face is clear indication of how I feel.”

  “You’re silly. How do you plan on stopping her?” I throw my arms around his neck.

  “Jesus, I think my hair’s already turning grey.” He shakes his head.

  “And you wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I sing, “Admit it. I know it may seem scary to think about Ava dating, but you want her to be happy. And someday, a nice boy will make her really happy.”

  “I do want that for my little girl, but let’s stop talking about her kissing boys. I’m not ready for this kind of topic.”

  “You’re a good father,” I tell him and close the distance between us, kissing him gently.

  “Can Evi read me a bedtime story tonight?” Ava asks from the back seat. We’re headed home after a fun-filled afternoon. We went to eat at a nice restaurant after we left the zoo, and then we watched an animated film at the movies, which Ava thoroughly enjoyed.

  Connor and I share a look, his eyes smiling with affection. I answer her instead. “I’d love to read you a story.”

  “Yay!” Ava pumps her hand in the air. She doesn’t stop chattering the whole ride home, Connor’s hand moving soothingly over my thigh.

  When Ava is done taking a bath, Connor helps her get dressed in pajamas and brush her teeth. She skips over to the bookshelf to choose a story. She climbs into her bed and hands over the book to me.

  “This is my favorite.” She points at it.

  “Sleeping Beauty,” I read out loud, smiling. “This one was my favorite, too, when I was a little girl,” I tell her. My Mom had to read it to me every single night before bed.

  “The prince kisses her on the mouth like Daddy kissed you today. He saved her from sleep,” she points out.

  Thinking about it, I’m certain Connor did the same for me. I was sleeping for years and because of him I finally feel alive again.

  “I didn’t like that she had to sleep so long. Do you like Daddy kissing you?” she questions.

  “I …” She caught me off guard, my mind still occupied. Luckily, she doesn’t wait for answers.

  “I like it when he kisses me on the cheek and hugs me. Do you like that, too?”

  Stroking her hair, I grin down at her. “Very much,” I admit. Even though I prefer different kinds of kisses Connor is so good at giving, the naughty ones that leave me breathless.

  I pick Charlie from the desk and place him in Ava’s waiting arms. She squeezes him, giving him a big smooch, and when her head hits the pillow, I start reading. It takes a little longer than usual to finish the story since she keeps asking questions which I happily answer.

  “The end,” I read, and close the book, putting it on the desk by the bed. “Time to sleep.” I bend down and kiss her forehead when she surprises me by pulling me down into a tight hug.

  “Evi?” she yawns.

  “Yes?”

  “
Will you come watch my gymnastics class sometime?” she asks with hope in her big eyes.

  “Of course, I’d love to. I hear you’re very good.” Running my fingers down her face, I sweep her hair off her face.

  “I know how to do a split, and I can do a bridge! But I’m afraid to do a somersault,” she confesses.

  “You’ll learn that, too, in no time. Now close your eyes, it’s time to sleep.”

  She nods. “I love you,” she says.

  Shocked at her declaration, I blink a few times, tears burning my eyes. I don’t want her to see them, she may misinterpret them, so I swallow tears down and grin at her.

  “I love you, too.” More than I could ever imagine. I didn’t think I was ever going to hear those three words, especially from a child. I turn off the light in her room and turn the one in the hallway on while clutching my necklace in my hand and thinking about those three words. I may be selfish, but I’d give my life so I could hear them just once more, from my own daughter.

  “You okay?” Connor asks as I almost come crashing into him. He’s just walked out of the bathroom, freshly showered, smelling like heaven. He’s only wearing dark grey sweats, his chest glistening with water he didn’t towel off. “You look like you’ve been crying. Has Ava said something that made you upset?” he worries.

  I press my hand to his chest. “No.” On the contrary.

  “Then why do you look like you just watched someone run over your dog?”

  I chuckle at his silly comparison. “Ava told me she loved me. I was caught off guard, that’s all.”

  Connor’s lips stretch into a wide grin. “Good.” He nods. “My daughter is a smart girl.” He drapes an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his hard, muscled chest. I look up at him, before he catches my lips in a tender kiss. It’s even sweeter because we’re both smiling. “Are you going to turn down the invitation to my room tonight as well? Nothing you don’t want needs to happen. Truth be told, I just want to wake up with you beside me.”

  “No,” I shake my head.

  “No?” He really tries to hide his disappointment, but I can see it in his eyes.

  “Not ‘no’ as in ‘I don’t want to’ but ‘no’ as in ‘no, I’m not going to say no to your invitation’.” I may not be ready to take the next step in our relationship, but I want to feel his hard body next to mine, enveloped in his scent.

  “Thank God.” He sighs in relief. “I don’t have to turn to plan B now.”

  I stare up, his hand curling around the nape of my neck; he wouldn’t let go of me. “Which is?”

  “Tossing you over my shoulder and carrying you into my room, locking the door behind us, of course.” He shrugs casually.

  I grin. I don’t doubt him for a second. “You’re such a caveman.”

  “Only when it comes to you.”

  “What about Dolores and Carlos?” I have to admit I’m a little worried. I don’t want them to think I’m just some floozy, trying to get their son-in-law into bed.

  “What about them? I doubt they’ll even notice. They never come inside my room anyway. Besides, they’re team Everly and Connor, so you have nothing to worry about. I’ll tell them about us tomorrow. I don’t want to keep secrets.”

  But—” I don’t get the chance to say more as Connor’s lips presses against mine, shutting me up.

  “Stop overthinking.”

  I nod. Stop overthinking. Okay. Good advice.

  After a long, refreshing shower I search my closet for something to wear. This time, I don’t go with Bradley’s old basketball shirt, but a pink nighty. It’s pretty short, but it covers all my important parts. The door to Connor’s bedroom is left ajar when I get there. Feeling slightly nervous, I push it open. Connor is lying in his bed, looking perfect like always, his arms crossed behind his head. As soon as he sees me, his mouth drops open. He doesn’t move an inch as his eyes roam over my body. A jolt of heat spreads up my spine, making my skin erupt in goose bumps. It’s been years since I saw someone watch me with so much desire, passion, intensity, and lust. I can feel his appreciative gaze on every single inch of my body.

  “Fuck, you’re hot. I’m such a lucky bastard.” Connor slides off the bed, muscles on his torso moving and flexing with every step he takes toward me. His hands find my waist, fingers spread wide over the soft material of my nightdress, and the sound of his heavy breathing makes my heart beat faster. I close my eyes thinking he’ll kiss me, instead, I shriek in surprise when he wraps his arms around my thighs and lifts me off the floor, plastering my front to his hardness.

  “You jerk,” I whisper-shout even though I don’t have to – I’m pretty sure my scream woke up the whole street, but smiling anyway. “We’re not alone.”

  “I don’t even care.” After closing the door, he carefully places me on his bed as if I’m made of glass. He hovers over me, trailing his fingers over my cheek, my eyebrows. “You’re so beautiful.” I swoon, my heart beating even faster. “I could sit here and watch you for days, and I’d still find even more reasons to keep staring at you.” His words leave me speechless. It’s been ages since I felt so special, so loved. And it feels amazing.

  “Thank you,” I finally speak up, my voice low, shy.

  “I mean it.” Our lips meet in a slow, passionate kiss, our tongues touching and tangling in a sensual dance, making me burn with need. I moan into his mouth as he grinds against me, showing me how much I turn him on. I arch my back as his hand move over my thigh, cupping my ass, making him groan. His hand slides up then, to my right breast, kneading softly, as if he’s trying to tattoo himself into my heart.

  “You’re so fucking perfect.” Connor leans his forehead on my chest, another groan escapes him. “Christ, I need to stop before I break my promise.” We’re both breathing hard. “I won’t lie,” his sound is muffled by my skin, but he soon looks me up in the eyes, “I want you so much. But I gave you my word, I’ll wait until you’re ready. Then, I’m not letting you go until I fulfill every single fantasy I have about you.” A threat and a promise at the same time. So hot. “Do we have a deal?” I simply nod, not capable of saying anything, as I’m so turned on right now, I’d let him do anything he wants to my body. But he’s right. I’m not ready. I don’t want to rush things between us. It’s a huge step for me to be here, in his bed with him tonight.

  He moves beside me, and covers us with a blanket. His big body is now spooning mine.

  “You’re awfully quiet all of a sudden.” His hand moves soothing over my arm.

  “I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact this is really happening.”

  “It couldn’t be more real than it is.” He buries his nose into my neck, sighing happily. A few minutes of silence pass.

  “Where did you learn how to play the guitar?” I’ve been wondering about that but haven’t had the chance to ask him, until now.

  “I taught myself. I saw this guy play the guitar at some dive bar when I was a kid, and I got myself a beat-up guitar, practicing all day every day until my fingers started bleeding. The chicks loved it,” he chuckles.

  “Of course, we can’t forget that,” I make fun of him. “How could it have slipped my mind?” I ask him quietly, “Would you play for me?”

  “Now?” his voice is sleepy.

  “Yes. I want to hear you sing.”

  “Okay.” He sits up, leaning over me so he can grab the guitar case and opens it. He places the guitar in his lap. “What song would you like to hear?”

  “Anything. Maybe a song you like.” I settle beside him, sitting cross-legged, as I watch him sing for me.

  It turns out Connor’s talent transcends across all music genres, from wild rock songs that suit him perfectly, to slow pop ballads, which I love the most.

  “You have a beautiful voice. How come you didn’t pursue a music career?”

  “I was a horrible kid, didn’t care much for rules and restrictions. If I wanted to have a career in music, I’d need to listen to strangers, adapt to them, and
follow their rules and instructions. That wasn’t for me.” He carefully puts the guitar back in its place.

  “You really are talented. I’m sure you’d have a ton of fans, and even more groupies.”

  “And what makes you think I don’t have them already?” he jokes, making me nudge him with my elbow. “Ouch.” He rubs his chest dramatically. “You hit pretty hard for a girl.”

  “You definitely don’t lack confidence.”

  “Just so you know”– he smirks– “I have everything I need. Becoming a club owner was my dream, I made it come true.” There is so much pride in his voice. “I don’t need fame. I only need you. Here. Now.”

  His words bring a smile to my face, and warmth to my heart. But I make it sound like I’m making fun of him. “Aww. How sweet. Did you rehearse that?”

  “Are you making fun of me?” He feigns being hurt, pressing a palm over his heart.

  “Maybe,” I challenge with a lopsided grin. “Just a little.”

  Chuckling, he leans in for a kiss, but I move my head to the side, making him kiss my cheek instead. He gives me a dirty look and with a cheeky, flirty smile, I plant one on him.

  “Tease.”

  I fall asleep with a goofy smile on my face.

  I’m definitely not smiling when I jerk awake hours later. It’s dark, room wrapped in silence, but I think I hear flames bursting in the distance, followed by the smell of burning wood.

  “Connor, Connor.” I shake his sleeping body, but he doesn’t move. “Connor, please, wake up, I think the house is on fire.”

  S trange sounds wake me, followed by even stranger moaning. What the hell? I turn to Everly; she looks like she’s having a nightmare. She’s restless, thrashing around, moving her arms as if she’s fighting someone or something. I hear her call out my name a few times but the rest of what she’s saying is just mumbling.

  “Ava! No, Connor, you have to save her. The fire is everywhere.” What the fuck is she saying?

  “Everly,” I shake her but she doesn’t budge, she just gasps for air.

  “Please,” she whispers, tears flowing down her cheeks.